Well, I told you MONTHS ago that she was having an AFFAIR. It got glossed over and dismissed...
This is why nothing you did worked. (your words) You were trying the "weak" route of being her friend, being nice, showing her how much YOU could change, etc. etc. etc..
The typical Db'ing mistakes while a WS is having an affair right under your nose and you REFUSE to face that fact and REFUSE to believe it. You then EXCUSED her behavior as she was hurt, she was abused in childhood, she this and she that...
The bottom line is the AFFAIR..
I do disagree with you on one thing though... It is the part where you say you have tried "everything"....
No you didn't. You didn't try getting tough, you didn't try to smoke out the affair and finding out who it was and if "he" was married and then exposing the affair to the OM's wife, family or girlfriend if he had one and then exposing it at her work etc.... (which ruins many an affair because of cake eating)
AND you didn't try the jealousy route of socially going out and about and being with the opposite sex and letting your wife see by your actions that you have moved on.....
So. What you did was try everything that YOU thought might work and what others thought might work that you agreed with, but NOT what people like me have seen work time and again...
Now you make another mistake by confronting this man about being a stalker or peeping tom or whatever he is...
Wrong move again...
Your answer is to PUSH for the divorce and get whatever you can. It is too late now regarding her affair because this should have been done immediately. You waited too long on that by not being able to admit that it not only was a probability that she was having one, but a VERY HIGH probability. This should have been smoked out from the beginning. By not doing that you were trying to fix something with the wrong tools. And then wondering why it didn't work or wasn't working...
Your answer is to find someone else and start socially interacting and having the fun time of your life. Stop worrying about whether you are ready or what others may think or what your wife may think and start caring about YOU.
Leaver your wife alone, push the divorce for YOUR benefit and let her deal with her own consequences of her terrible behavior that you have enabled and even encouraged because of fear of being tough... You played this all the way with the nice guy, friend route. By your own words it didn't work.
Try another route then.... THE TOUGH, STRONG, you aren't taking any more crap, will get what YOU can in the divorce and who care what she thinks route....
