H with 1foot out the door...LONG

[ginab1966]

So, he told me tonight that he is just waiting for me to say Uncle. That it would be easier if I did...but that he will do it he has to. He's just going to "see". Still going to Retro post on Saturday and says hes going just to go. Not to save our marriage but to just go and "see". There's lots of "seeing" going on. I also see the most is about to turn a phase and he usually cycles (bi-polar) in the phases. Full moons are the worst but usually he gets into a low cycle. That could be triggering lots of this. I'm trying not to get sucked in and I'm going to try and give him space and just let him feel what he feels and not judge him. I just want to say this....as hes talking about the fact that divorce is still a very real option and he's prepared to walk away, our daughter is upstairs in her bed and I can hear her tossing and turning and it breaks my heart that she's going to end up the loser if this all goes south. I didn't bring her into this world so that she could live a life of a divorced child. It makes my heart physically ache like someone is squeezing the life out of it when I think about it. Ron said tonight that she will adapt and I'm sure she will but do some reading on what happens to divorced kids. Just read and it will scare the daylights out of you.

I know my H is hurting. I know this is hard for him and he wants to be gone and is staying. I really applaud him for that. I will pray tonight that God will grant me patience for this journey and a love that is forgiving and unyielding towards my husband.

Nite everyone. May all our prays be answered.

Gina B