The W actually brought up when she was pregnant 9 years ago when I didn't pick up my clothes. She brought up the one time I said the toilet had mold growing inside it. To give you some insight, my wife was a stay at home mom and we had a cleaning lady. She cancelled the cleaning lady after about 8 years and started cleaning on her own. Look, I am a guy, I don't care that much. But after 3 weeks, I made a wise crack..That was 3 years ago. Then it was I worked too hard(I was home by 6:45) at the latest. The laundry list goes on. She says that she forgives me. This simply started out with us discussing as adults what Retrouville is about.
But she can't forget....It is 5 months. I understand this takes time. I just can't do this forever. I am not going to be on this site in two years hoping for a turnaround.
She says today, that when I touch her, she gets anxiety. She acknowleges all my changes and said that is great. Why didn't you do that 16 years ago. Whenever she thinks about trying with me, she shakes, can't breathe, etc....
For the record, I still don't think I was this monster she makes me out to be. I do hope retrouville helps this. I am not as strong as I thought I would be through this. I see the pain in my kids eyes, which makes me stay. My W has no clue nor does she care how much she has hurt me. Not even sure if she really feels our son's pain...I hate to say it, but it does look like I am banking on Retrouville to turn this around. If it doesn't, I don't think she ever will be able to be with me again.
Remarried 6 mo S 12 S 13 S 16 SD 12 SD 16 SD 17 SS 19
