I'm so glad that Puppy responded to your post b/c he knows more about this part of the road.

I agree that "His Needs/Her Needs" would be more beneficial than Love Dare.....and I haven't read the other one. Love Dare has gotten popular lately b/c of that movie, and it's a sweet little book...but I don't see it being what you need right now.

Puppy can explain about transparency better than I can, but it is everything out in the open where his communications are concerned. Nothing is kept private or secret. He should be willing for you to see all phone records, TM on his cell, emails, etc. Of course, we know that if a person wants to have an A, they will figure out a way to keep it secret, but the point is--if he is serious about wanting to work on the M, then he should have no problem in being completely open about everything.

If you have any questions about his A and OW....now is the time to ask him...while he's willing to talk. You are being very quite and you are keeping things bottled up about the OW. That isn't good. Talk now--or expect him to get angry if you decide to bring it up in a couple of months b/c you can't get OW off your mind. As a woman, I understand needing to talk about things until you feel you can get it out of your system.....but I think a lot of men want it to be over with--and "forgotten", so to speak.

I don't know how to tell you to handle with the after PA ordeal. Puppy can help you there. I would say, however, this is the time to really do your best to be all that you can be so that your H will know he made the right choice. When he hugged you, that is when you knew you didn't want to give him up, right? So, make it count.

I agree that find the right counselor is very important. Please do that while he is willing to go. My H would never agree to go to counseling.



It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!