My Intro: Thanks for Reading!

[RedSoxFan]

You only send it because it's good for you. Not trying to make her think anything.

Then I don't need to send it. It isn't going to do anything for me.

I guess things will just move forward as they will.

[RedSoxFan]

then why would you put something in writing if it was not the honest way you felt? esp. in this situation.

Because I believe it is the right thing and I want to feel that way. I love her and i want her to be happy. I really do. I just don't know how to let go.

[billclay18]

I re-read your W's email and your are correct she is not asking for a response. If you feel you need to acknowledge or validate it, fine, but leave off the last sentence because she knows it's not true and it will make her question the sincerity of any of it.

[aliveandkicking]

Wait a minute...

Her email doesn't even require a response. She's not asking me anything. She's pretty much just telling me whats what!

The only reason to respond would be to acknowledge or validate...right? So do I need to do that?

How about, "I want to acknowledge your email and let you know that I do understand your feelings."

You can do little or nothing...but, ya, make it real.

[RedSoxFan]

How about, "I want to acknowledge your email and let you know that I do understand your feelings."

You can do little or nothing...but, ya, make it real.

That really is what I want to do here. I want her to know that I understand and hear her.

but I should think about whether that is for me or her...I think its for her

[Stronger]

I like A&K's response. You only need to validate if anything.

Are you going to fight this divorce? What options do you have? I requested lawyers fees and a three month extension with the express purpose to see if we can reconcile. And then I told H, "You know, you don't have to respond." He asked what that meant and I explained to him (as my lawyer explained to me) that he doesn't have to respond. He doesn't have to answer. It can just sit there as long as I don't question where the response is, which I won't. I made that clear. I will not question why you have not answered. H asked "Then what?" I said in one year from my response it will be thrown out due to lack of prosecution. Bye bye. H also knows he can remove the filing all together. At this point, H has done nothing. I hope it stays that way....really I hope he removes it.

And do you want to know what I'm doing now? Sitting still. And since I've been still, things have never been better. H even said last night "if this girl (taps my knee) had been here the whole time, we would've been fine" or something to that effect.

Sit still, even if you respond. Sit still.

[aliveandkicking]

Less is gonna be more in this sitch IMO. Especially because there is OM, almost anything you say can be construed as pressure or measured against OM's actions.

And then I told H, "You know, you don't have to respond." He asked what that meant and I explained to him (as my lawyer explained to me) that he doesn't have to respond. He doesn't have to answer. It can just sit there as long as I don't question where the response is, which I won't. I made that clear. I will not question why you have not answered.

I wouldn't offer this kind of information in this stich. Let her lawyer advise her. Do NOT tell her what to do or even suggest. Just take what comes as it comes and make your own decisions, one at time.

It is so challenging but it is best to manage one bit at a time.

Shmo disclaimer as always.

[RedSoxFan]

I sent a simple acknowledgement a la A&K that I had read and understood. Now I'm sitting still. Will check in later when I'm in front of a computer.

[billclay18]

Good...done...the ball's in her court. Leave her alone...nothing you can do or say at this point. Do you have your kids this weekend? If so, have some fun...if not...have some fun anyway.

I know this sucks...check out the recent happenings in my thread...I just sent the D papers to my W yesterday. Not what I wanted, but nothing I can do but live my life. Same with you.

[RedSoxFan]

Thanks Bill!! Moving forward and upward...it's the only way