wing, I think your posting to him about the apology and advising him to keep the focus on the children is the best way to go. You do not need to hash out all of the pain and suffering right now. There will come a time when you'll have the opportunity to discuss all of this with him, but now is not the time.
Keep up the good work!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
