Coming out from lurking in the shadows.....

[SomethingNew]

Hi PDT,

I would agree with everyone else as well about not moving out of the house. I'm not the one trying to "find myself" or "trying to figure out what I want." I know what I want and I know what I need and that is at home, so that is where I will stay.

As far as coming across as weak my "it would be nice if you wouldn't..." comment was actually dripping with sarcasm (yeah I need to watch that) to her and unfortunately that doesn't always come across in written conversations.

I hear what you are saying with boundries and it is something that will have a great deal of difficulty associated with it and us. Control issues have always been a hot button with my wife....dating back to feeling controlled by her mom, which caused eating disorders way back when in her youth. It is something I don't think she has ever really had a handle on. It is her issue that she has to deal with but at times, it becomes our issue since she tends to project that I am controlling onto me at times. That tends to be more of a situation where she trys to control me and when she is not successful takes great offense and claims I am trying to control her. The cycle also continues with our children and they are just now starting to rebel against her efforts to control them. I let them know that they have to have that discussion with mom at this time. I digress however and tend to feel that is an issue she is going to have to deal with eventually, but it is not my focus at this time. Its about me....right? What I can do, what I need to do and what I have to do to move on with my life.

SN