Magnificent

[mishka422]

Hmmmm...I'm having a really hard time composing that letter. Even though I'm not ever going to send it, I still feel like it can't come from a place of blame because it's not about that. Everything I write sounds so shrewish! There is still a whole bunch of anger stored up inside toward him and there is no outlet for it. Maybe if I just write all the anger and stop worrying about how it sounds it would be best. That's what I do in my journal, but that is always written in very disjointed sounding rants, not in letter format.

Tuesday night when I got home from bible study Gabe was in the driveway in the broom's car dropping off Marc after karate. What's significant about that? Nothing. My question to myself though is why the heck does it bother me that he is driving her car? She's not in it. Does it matter? He lives with her, sleeps with her, does everything with her. Again, maybe it's just that anger rearing it's head because those are all the things I did with him and thought I always would. I don't know. Stupid.

Don't get me wrong here.....I don't want him back. Not ever. He is a broken man who thinks of no one other than himself and he doesn't even do a good job of that.

Ok, back to the regularly scheduled programming..........lalalalalalaalala......