I think you need to tell him you will let your lawyer do the talking for now. And if he gets all up in arms about it, you stay calm. You explain, I did not put this in motion. I understand and respect your reasons for why you did but now that's it's started, I feel more comfortable doing this through the lawyers. I understand your hope that we be friends....but for me, this is an all or nothing deal. We aren't going to be best buddies after this. We'll be good co-parents, but I won't be comfortable with this great friendship you seem to envision. I know me, and I can't do that. Not now, maybe in the future. You are doing what's right for you. I respect that. Please respect I have to do the same for me.
Perfect.
When one partner is a marriage is wayward, there's really only two things they want "To Talk" about. One is the marital relationship, and two is legal stuff. I usually advocate saying "There's no relationship to talk about, so long as one of us is having an affair" to the first one, and "I think that would be best left for the attorneys to handle" to the second one.
btw, BOTH will make his head spin around, so be prepared.
