In-house Separation - Need advice on my DBing

[aflowergurlie]

Wednesday - Well I woke up yesterday morning, was in my bathroom and heard the sound of water being turned on somewhere else in the house which freaked me out - Go and look and H's bathroom door was shut and the light was on - Couldn't believe he was home - I had been in and out of sleep since like 6:00 that morning, so I knew he had had to come home during the night sometime, not in the morning - very surprised because he hasn't done that in months - Stayed in my room though & heard him leave for work - later in the morning I got a call from H - again, surprised by this, but very unsure as to what he'd be calling me for so I didn't answer - he didn't leave a message so I thought it must not have been anything important or figured he would just talk to me later - 15 mins later I get a text from him asking if I wanted to go the gym with him that night - so I waited about 45 mins to text him back with "have a few things going on tonight but think I can squeeze in a workout" - then got a couple more texts from him to confirm what time - I went home for lunch and he was just passing me down the street - he turned around and followed me back to the house and just reconfirmed the gym and time and even asked if I was going to ride with him or just meet him there - I said I would meet him there - (had a few errands to go run after work) - about 15 mins before time we were supposed to meet, another text from him "are we still on for the gym?" - replied I was already there and where he could meet me inside - he came right on time (a big surprise from him, he's ALWAYS late) - during workout he was acting kinda like my very own personal trainer and we stayed together the entire time (this is something i have always wanted from him and has never happened before) - one of the problems we had at the end of last year/beginning of this year, was that I was working out with a male friend of mine (not a friend of his) who was personally training me as well - H didn't like it and so I stopped - but then I needed a quick refresher back in April to get me remotivated in my gym routine - told H that same day I had been to gym with my friend and H replied instantly and very sarcastically "Did you sleep with him too?" - I was taken aback by this because H is not a jealous person at all - So I knew he must really not like me doing that from that comment - So I haven't been to the gym with my friend since, even though over the past couple months I have been very tempted to call him and start having him train me again because of everything that has gone down with H - So we get done with gym and are leaving - I tell H I'm going to grocery store, ask if he needs anything - He says well why don't we just go home first and then we can go a little later - So I agreed - Went home - H was on phone when I pulled in behind him and he stayed in garage for about 10-15 mins on phone call - Then was texting for a few mins - Got showered and changed - Leaving for grocery store, H says you don't have to drive separate car, you can ride with me - So I said Ok - During grocery shopping he was texting a few times & walked away to text a couple of times - I found myself screaming inside of my head "THIS SUCKS!!!! I want to know who he is texting and what he is saying and why he is doing this! I was ready to just scream out at him right there "I can't take this anymore!" and walk out of the store and never see or talk to him again." But then I gathered myself together, forced myself to remember that this is gonna require enormous strength, patience, and time - I can do this - I am strong - baby steps - PMA - Act As If - so I took a deep breath, I put a smile back on my face and I kept pushing the cart - Then, in his talking while we were shopping I was even more surprised when he told me where he had been the night before (with his brother), what they did and what time he got home - I never ask him any questions so this was all purely voluntary info from him - Of course, I'm believing none of what he says and only half of what he does, but I'm not sure that that applied in this particular instance - Got home, put groceries away - He hung out in kitchen with me while I ate at the bar - He texted a few times and then put phone on bar counter face up - H turned tv on in living room - I got in pj's came back out to living room and watched tv with him for a lil while - H started falling asleep - I got up to go to bed - He woke up and asked if I was going to bed, then said good-night.

What I am fearing the most right now:
- His motives. Why is he being so nice to me and spending time with me? Is it just so that he isn't bored and lonely when he has to be home during the week? Is it so I'll be more amicable in splitting our things later on when I'm supposed to move out? Is he trying to help me lose the rest of my weight now so someone else will be attracted to me and he will be rid of me so he can go and be happy with the OW and with less guilt? Does he really just want to be my friend forever and have a completely platonic relationship from here on out? These are just some of the crazy ass things that run through my head in trying to make some sort of sense out of a whole bunch of nonsense. Anyone who would like to interject their thoughts or opinions - it would be greatly appreciated.

- @