For some reason I can't stomach you taking responsibility for all of it. I hate to be a stickler but some where in me I think it would not resonate as genuine if I read that. How about, "I am so very aware of what I have done and I accept total responsibility for it."
But, the most important question is can you be done after you send this?
I always thought if I could just say one more thing...and then low and behold, I came up with another. I finally stopped.
Given a second chance I would spend the rest of my life making it up to you.
Pressure! Pursuing!
Originally Posted By: RedSoxFan
I can’t stop you from divorcing me, just know that what I want is to be with you and for our marriage and our family to be together again.
Pressure! Pursuing!
You are now the LBS and she is the WAS...what you are saying goes against the first rule of DB'ing. She knows what YOU want and your email just tells her that what YOU want is more important than what she wants. Just my 2 cents.
Me45 (D11 from 1st marriage) W43 (D20 & D16 from 1st marriage) M4 Bomb 6/16/09 W wants D W moved out 8/29/09 I sent her D paperwork 9/25/09...I'm done
Yep. But he may need to just get it off his chest one last time.
Well, I don't want to include it if it's going to work against me. So I could send this:
W,
I completely understand your feelings about the communication problems, being beat up and not doing anything wrong. I really do. I also understand your view about my leaving last fall. I am so very aware of what I have done and I accept total responsibility for it. If you believe that disillusion will make you happy then I accept that.
RSF
I'm guessing this would leave her wondering why I sent it since it's so cold or who wrote it for me.
AKA: "Ben the school teacher" --- Me:45, W:41 | Ds:10,12&14 | M:18, T:20 Me: MLC+PA+WAS+Separated 10/08 My Request to Reconcile Denied 7/09 W w/OM 6/09-11/09
Her email doesn't even require a response. She's not asking me anything. She's pretty much just telling me whats what!
The only reason to respond would be to acknowledge or validate...right? So do I need to do that?
AKA: "Ben the school teacher" --- Me:45, W:41 | Ds:10,12&14 | M:18, T:20 Me: MLC+PA+WAS+Separated 10/08 My Request to Reconcile Denied 7/09 W w/OM 6/09-11/09
I'm guessing this would leave her wondering why I sent it since it's so cold or who wrote it for me.
You only send it because it's good for you. Not trying to make her think anything.
Why do you think it is cold to validate her feelings?
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
I completely understand your feelings about the communication problems, being beat up and not doing anything wrong. I really do. I also understand your view about my leaving last fall. I am so very aware of what I have done and I accept total responsibility for it. If you believe that disillusion will make you happy then I accept that.
Why do you think it is cold to validate her feelings?
Obviously all of my emotional crap makes me feel much better but when she reads it I want her to get that I understand so, I dunno, my saying I accept stuff just feels a little empty...does that make sense?
AKA: "Ben the school teacher" --- Me:45, W:41 | Ds:10,12&14 | M:18, T:20 Me: MLC+PA+WAS+Separated 10/08 My Request to Reconcile Denied 7/09 W w/OM 6/09-11/09
I completely understand your feelings about the communication problems, being beat up and not doing anything wrong. I really do. I also understand your view about my leaving last fall. I am so very aware of what I have done and I accept total responsibility for it. If you believe that disillusion will make you happy then I accept that.
RSF
do you really?
Assuming you're referring to the last sentence, no! But I have no choice. I can't control so I have to accept.
AKA: "Ben the school teacher" --- Me:45, W:41 | Ds:10,12&14 | M:18, T:20 Me: MLC+PA+WAS+Separated 10/08 My Request to Reconcile Denied 7/09 W w/OM 6/09-11/09
