It's too hard sometimes

[TooLateForMe]

Funny (sad?) thing is, Kiwi, I felt the same way as my W. I thought I wanted a fun, single existence. The reality is that the grass only SEEMED greener. The truth is that the grass is greener where it's tended. Unfortunately, it may take some people a lot longer to realize this than it did for me. In the mean time (and I have to remember this as well), figure out how you contributed to her feelings and make the changes to become not just a better H but a better YOU.

It sounds like canned advice but it comes from a lot of personal pain and introspection. And many of us are continually struggling to do the same.

Hope it works out for you. It's likely little true comfort, but you're not alone in your pain. Reading DR really helped alleviate much of the anxiety of helplessness. Even more so was examining the past, finding out how I helped create her feelings, accepting my part in it and making a commitment to doing something SPECIFIC about it.