Moving on with my life!

[kassie]

I do get why you don't let go... but now that I am back on track with me... let me remind you of how important you are and how important it is to stay focused on moving forward. Let exh decide but do what you need to do to feel good about you. Love that you had a night out and enjoyed yourself!

[Startingover2]

Feeling better today. Trying not to get sucked in to his anger and drama. He missed his visit once again yesterday but he was home during the visit times (via a friend). He sent a text asking what my plans were later and I was honest and said we had plans...of course he sent me a nasty text saying I was keeping baby from him, etc. I didn't respond. During the time I was gone he was texting random questions and then was getting mad because I wasn't responding.

I feel its a no win situation with him. He is either happy with me if I let him close, but if I make him stick to the schedule and do my own thing he gets angry.

[JayMan]

Personally, I would limit texts to things like, "Can you pick up milk?" or "Baby has dr. appointment at 3:00pm"

Texting emotional or relationship-type questions is just silly. There's a reason there is a 160-character limit.

[Startingover2]

I really try to keep things to a minimum but when I do he accuses me of alienating him from baby's life etc. and gets really nasty. He uses her to maintain knowledge of our whereabouts. I get nervous as when I just kept communication to nothing but one or two texts a day and only about baby I got a nasty letter from his attorney threatning parent alienation. Then again, exh knows the more he communicates with me the harder it will be for me to move on.

[JayMan]

Bullcrap.

You need to document the times he misses his appointed times. You have absolutely no requirement beyond his appointed visitation times, period.

Next time you get a nasty letter, send one right back with a documented list of his missed visitations.

I guarantee you won't hear another peep.

[Startingover2]

LOL can you come and stand behind me and give me my much needed backbone?! I love it!

Seriously the guy gets 12 possible visit hours per week total. Roughly 48 hours monthly...he makes average of 3 hours per month!

[volleydog]

Next time just tell him his time was X...I know you say he'll get nasty but you don't have to read any texts or answer any calls.

[Startingover2]

Yeah VD...I have missed you and hope you are doing great. You always have had such a great attitude!

Yep..the weekend is here. My older D is coming into town for a couple of days. Excited about that. Probably won't spend too much time with her as she has a friend thing to go to, but its nice to see her.

News is traveling about exh involved with a married woman in our little town. People are constantly asking me and then I hear he justifies it with "she is getting a D." ok, then why is she still living with her H? I swear he is like a mouse on a wheel.

I have tried to be overly happy and bubbly when he texts. Haven't seen him since last Saturday, but today he should come. When he texts I answer his question about baby and then finish with 'have a good day!'. I know its making him wonder why I am so happy. I almost have a smile when I send it. I know he is miserable with his own life and would like nothing more to see me miserable too.

[blindsided1]

Hey SO2 - sorry to hear you are still having such trouble with ExH. Jon is right, send the documentation of his missed visits. You aren't KEEPING ExH from baby, you just aren't bending to meet his schedule. Hey, has anyone ever told him that your time is valueable too.

Be careful about being too bubbly or telling him to have a good day. I did that for a long time and to be honest, I think he took it as me being still in love with him. Now, I'm polite, but not overly. I don't tell him to have a good day anymore. I just say goodbye.

Let him come to you. Try to mirror his attitude towards you. If he is angry, don't talk to him. If he is being nice...it's okay to be nice back.

It works so much better if I am on the same level mood wise as he is. I don't mean bad mood-wise. But, I keep the energy level as even as possible. It works.

Good luck. Have a great weekend. Glad you get to see your daughter.

[Startingover2]

Feeling pretty good the past few days. Haven't seen exh since Saturday. He spent 20 minutes on Friday and 30 on Saturday with baby. Before that it has been almost an entire week since he saw her. I did see an email where he is asking his new gf for some vicodin. Nice. He also gets his license back either late this week or next week! Scary.

Been busy with baby. Today is a visit day. Haven't heard if exh is coming today or not. Leaving right after his time for a MNF party again.

Still lonely, but feeling much better.