Give it to me straight!

[mishka422]

YOU JUST HIT THE NAIL DIRECTLY ON THE HEAD BBJ!

What is the saying? Talk is cheap? Even the talk we do in our own heads is cheap. It's not based in reality and it can lead us to do pretty desperate things.

I still battle with myself about sending a text, sending an email, just being that niggling little gnat buzzing by XH's ear every now and then. Trust me, it doesn't make me feel good to realize that I still crave that contact, but it's only because I had it for so long. The M was dead a long time before the life support was pulled.

So, how to circumvent these impulses?

SHOCK THERAPY! Ok, not literally....only a little. It's the good old rubber band trick. What is that called? Is that cognitive therapy? Get the meanest rubber band you can find and any time an impulse to call Dan, text him, email him, drive by, etc. comes up...snap it. Not a gentle pull...a HARD snap. It shocks you back to reality pretty quick. I'm actually doing that right now but for totally different reasons (negative self-talk stuff).

A C would be wonderful for you. You have read the books, you know the talk, you now need help to employ what you have learned. Talking your feelings out with a neutral party is enormously helpful and you can gain a lot of insight from it.

I am sure you will come through this well BBJ. You know yourself, you recognize where your weaknesses are and have a genuine desire to change them. You have won several battles already, now you just need a strategic plan to win the war!

(((((((((((((((BBJ))))))))))))))))