"Wife, I understand how you feel about our communication problems, that you feel beat-up, and that you feel you haven't done anything wrong. I also understand very clearly that you believe I left you, our marriage and family last fall. I accept total responsiblity for that and I am both sorry and aware of what I have done to you and our family. Given a second chance I would spend the rest of my life making it up to you. If you believe that divorce will make you happy then I accept that. I cannot stop you from divorcing me but know that I want you, my marriage and my family back."
Reasons to go with Coach's advice-
a) he's always right. b) you clearly need to express yourself or you're going to scr*w up in some other way c) it says pretty much the only things I would want to hear if it were me
It is pursuing but sometimes you've got to take actions that match where you truly are.
I see you as a bit stunned, traumatized. You are not stupid or an a**hole, you are grasping for something monumentally important to you. We all relate. Some of us have had longer to process this or move faster through it but we all went through it at some point. I still get pangs every time the D comes up with H.
Divorce sucks, it is hard. You are being advised to stop expending all of your energy on resisting and put your energy into evolving so you are happier, more stable, capable of handling the impending stress AND ultimately a better prospect for your W or potentially other women down the line.
There is no "right" way because the odds are that it is going to end. That is the brutal reality. So, you can stop torturing yourself and just do the best you can. Does that make sense? You are not going to mess this up. Worst case scenario is D no matter what so if you can spare yourself beating your head against a wall and start now pulling yourself together, you're doing the best you can.
