strong & patient (most days)

[kat727]

I hope so too! Abduction I think should be looked down upon regardless of the situation. Document, document, document. Last week would have been it for me and I would have been calling the police on him yesterday. I do admire you for not making a scene but this has gone way too far.

kat

[dday101798]

I would have and do suggest talking with the police, the nice part there is, you don't have to pay them an hourly rate to find out what you can or can not do in the midterm.

At your next court date I highly suggest you go forth with a temp visitation arrangement. He'll of course have time to respond to it, maybe see the err of his ways.

In the meantime, as Kat says, DOCUMENT! You never answered my question of if you called to make sure they were okay afterward. I'd hate promote a negative feeling, but my X as I said did the same, just to gage my reaction. The more times I came home to no kids and threw my hands up in the air and said 'what can I do about it' the more times X and her snake L sat in court and said, hey, "he didn't even care how his kids were for the time they were away".... watch your butt, it's a nasty, dirty, low down game when it comes to custody.

[karen43]

In the meantime, as Kat says, DOCUMENT! You never answered my question of if you called to make sure they were okay afterward. I'd hate promote a negative feeling, but my X as I said did the same, just to gage my reaction. The more times I came home to no kids and threw my hands up in the air and said 'what can I do about it' the more times X and her snake L sat in court and said, hey, "he didn't even care how his kids were for the time they were away".... watch your butt, it's a nasty, dirty, low down game when it comes to custody.

No, I didn't. He has his cell phone I can call them with, and I tend not to, b/c I hate to talk with him so much. He's so unpleasant. I got them this afternoon and they're fine though.

I've had them 5-7 days a week through this so I also think I don't need/want to intrude on their time together. Whereas if the situations were reversed and he had them 5-7 nights a week, I would be calling them frequently. He never does call them though, so doubt he would bring that up.

I just sent a great email, I think. I sent: I did confirm with D9 that she prefers to have the school lunches rather than bringing one. I think you are feeling like you shouldn't pay for her lunches those days when I have her. I can totally understand that. I'm fine with us setting things up that way. I just gave you $24 worth of monthly medication that you give her on your days with her. It might be the fastest/easiest way to reimburse me by putting it directly into her lunch account each month esp. since I don't have all the info on it and login and all that. I figure $24 should cover her lunches each month when she's with me. Thanks!

[kat727]

So how did he respond? What does your schedule look like now, in other words, when does he have the kids? I tried to call before I went off to the jewelry party but you weren't home. Just wanted to see how you were doing.

hugs, kat

[karen43]

Not well. That I get the $1600 child support each month and that I should pay for everything. And have I gotten a job yet, and hopefully a full-time one now that the kids are in school.

I emailed back that I have spent thousands on extra therapies, medication, and dentist bills that non-autistic children don't have ($800 is the standard amount not considering autism expenses). I will put the money into her lunch account b/c she wants to get school lunches, but will have to use the money that I wanted to use to get the kids haircut this week (they needed them a month ago!) I ignored the job part as usual. He's just an a$$.

S15 told me he needs his progress report he got yesterday to return to his 2nd period teacher tomorrow. I had no message or info re: the progress report. I emailed X that he can drop it off while we are at the grocery store this afternoon (I told him the time) or make his own arrangements to get to the teacher tomorrow whichever he prefers. I said as coparents I think both parents should receive progress reports/grades, and I would appreciate it if he would copy or scan them for me as I have been doing with S15's virtual school grades for the past couple years. Saved it in my "divorce" file of emails I'm saving, as my L had told me if you aren't informing the other parent can be considered in custody decisions.

I agree to him having the kids Sunday night or Saturday afternoon (alternating weekends) until Tues. morning. The big argument seems to be over Tuesdays. I think it's crazy for them to start out mornings with him (well his apt. anyway he's out running or at work), and then afternoons with me, and then evenings with him again. His rationale to me was that he wanted to reduce switching/back and forth with the kids, which I think is good, but he just wants Tues. night to reduce his child support imho.

His actions this last 2 weeks have made me determined to try to cut down his custody time as much as I possibly can, a 180 from my attitude this past 2 years. He will hurt the kids just to help himself; and that's just wrong.

Thanks for calling! i've been super busy with the play. We got home at 9:30 last night not too bad, but I'm going to let D9 get babysat by S15 (I'm paying him) so they can get some good sleep tonight. I'll take the kids tomorrow night though since no school Saturday.

[kat727]

I would call the police department(not 911) explain the situation from the last two weeks and ask if there is anything that could have been done. It won't hurt to find out.

I know D9 wants school lunch but maybe you could just do it maybe once or twice a week instead of everyday. As far as progress repsorts, ask the school to send both of you a copy and explain that due to the divorce, the kids go back and forth between homes and both parents want to be kept up to speed. or perhaps the school could e-mail that information. Just a couple of thoughts.

kat

[dday101798]

I said as coparents I think both parents should receive progress reports/grades, and I would appreciate it if he would copy or scan them for me as I have been doing with S15's virtual school grades for the past couple years.

And your thinking is 100% dead on. May I suggest however, since your X is as ignorant to agreement as mine, save yourself the grief, sure ask him if he could get you a copy, but then go straight to the school yourself.

Sorry I didn't see your post htis morning and respond sooner, must be time to clean my glasses.

[karen43]

Yes, I will try to get more info from the schools. It's odd though, for example, last week at S15's high school, they said they only had one copy of his schedule, and I would have to get it from X and copy it. They don't do 2 copies. I would think with all the divorced people around now, they would be a little more understanding/flexible about that kind of stuff. B/c prob. there is often one or both parents that don't communicate the information as they would in an ideal world.

Got my weekly email today from X. Asking me what time I'm going to drop off the kids tomorrow and pick up the child support/alimony check. I forwarded the email to my L and asked her advice? So so sick of this!!! Karen

[whatdidido]

I'll be interested to hear what your lawyer says. I'm worried that your ex realizes that if you fight him on seeing his kids it will look bad on your part (keeping the kids away from him), however the schedule was set and he is changing it so that can't be good either. I'm wondering if the fact that it isn't "set in stone" makes it legally ok for him to get his kids whenever he wants and he knows that it will help him financially so he will do whatever it takes. Again, curious what your lawyer will do.

[kat727]

I wonder if you just couldn't ignore him. He is obviously going to hold your check ransom or your kids. The court needs to be aware of this behavior from him asap. Did you ever check with the local police as to what they could do? I know this is going where you don't want it to but this has got to stop.

kat