Thanks for your replies. We actually had a huge development last night. He told me he has cut off contact with OW and is willing to come for counselling with me. BUT... I am not naive and I will need to see that this actually happens. And, he says he is still struggling with believing we were ever meant to be together or that we can be happy together. I have read DR and am trying to apply the principles. It has been so hard, but I am trying. I have already done a lot - I lost 30 pounds, got new clothes, new hairstyle, etc. He didn't even really notice, or care. But the other aspects of GALing I need to do. I have been far too available. And, it is true that I need to stop fighting where he is coming from. It is the emotional disengagement part that is so hard, because I have been hurting, feeling rejected and betrayed... I think I am getting there though, feeling stronger. Time to GAL!
