I used to feel like a fish that had swallowed the hook, forgot about it as I swam 'free', and then felt pain and resistance as I was pulled in. It was something I couldn't escape when he drew me to him.
Try the following:
If it feels right, say yes. If it feels wrong, say no. If you waffle or can't make a decision, the answer is no.
At this point, it's not about him, it's about you. And you're twirling in 3000 directions looking to others for answers while waiting for the right question.
On the road to love is trust, respect, friendship. Shared history is a reflection of a long term relationship. Old habits die hard, as does being masochistic and a martyr. It was very easy for you to see how terribly my ex-spouse treated me, to call him a weak man, even as I waffled over what I remembered of his finer qualities.
No one wants to end a marriage. The hope of a heroic ending is always a lure. Just remember the barbed hook that's attached to it.
