Hoping WAW will someday see through the fog....

[sandi2]

Shell, your WAW wants an apartment so she can play. She told you she wants to know how it feels to date other people,and believe you me.....that is exactly what she has in mind. It just looks "nicer" than getting a motel room! Remember....the girl you have always known as your W is gone. This is a new person with different norms & standards from your W. Don't be shocked at anything!

Now, listen to what I am about to tell you...please. You must not make things "easy" for her. Why are you babysitting on the weekend while she gets to play? Don't tell me that you are thrilled to have your children. Don't tell me it's b/c you don't want them around OM. Don't use any other excuses that most LBS's use. This is where you have to get tough. I doubt she is going to be able to entertainvery much in a one bedroom apartment if she has children around. Neither is she going to be able to go to bars and party. Not without gettting a babysitter......and don't you DARE be that babysitter. Make her pay for one. You tell her that you have plans of your own for the weekend!! That'll get her attention. That kind of puts a cramp on her lifestyle...don't you think? That is exactly what you need to do. Do not help her with supplying food, funiture, utinsels, sheets & towels, or utilities for her apartment. You keep in mind that she is wanting this so she can screw around. Now, does that put things in perspective for you?

You may feel that you aren't being a good dad if you let the kids go over to her apartment. Why? Is she going to do something that would expose them to something unfit? What will you do if you D? You'll have to let her have the kids, then. Right? So, make her keep the kids in that apartment and don't let her use the excuse that it only has one bedroom. Did she think you were going to sit home and keep her children while she played? Life doesn't work that way.

Remember, you have to show her something.....and that is this fact...she has to realize that she has more to lose by getting a D than what the other side of the fence offers. With that in mind....you have to get very busy GAL. She has to think that you are wanting to be free of her. It is kind of like when dating and the couple breaks up and one of them wants to think that they were not dumped, but they did the dumping! If she thought you were dumping her....oh boy, that would wake her up! So, you have a great opportunity to allow her big idea of getting this apartment to blow up right in her face. If you'll handle it right. You can tell her in your own words, but something to this affect......"You know, I've been thinking about our situation and I've decided that it would be good to have some time apart. You may have the right idea about seeing what it would be like to be free to date other people. I have been giving that quite a bit of consideration. I think I need some free time myself! So, I will be planing to use weekends for some "me" time. Bringing some new people into my life sounds pretty attractive and something I could definetly use right now."

Now, here's the thing.....when she blows her top....you just let her blow! Don't get into a R talk. In fact, leave the house, go to bed, or whatever. If she starts asking if you are interested in a particular woman, just don't answer. Don't fall into any of her traps. Be mysterious by being vague.

I think that you should not wait until she gets an apartment but start right away with getting out and staying out until late hours. Don't tell her anything about where you are going or who you are seeing. You act hapy-go-lucky and look really hot when you leave the house. Don't let her use any guilt trips trying to make you stay home. You are fighting for your M. It may not "look" as if that is what you're doing...but you are. You don't have to go out with another woman, but the point is not to tell your wife. You can go do whatever you want to do. The point is that you are unavailable to your W and you become more attractive to her.