My Intro: Thanks for Reading!

[billclay18]

RSF,

I have given some thought and consideration what to you have said and I do not agree. I have spent a lot of time talking to you about my feelings and beliefs about our relationship. I have spent hours going over and over the same thing. I have been honest and direct and have walked away from conversations feeling like we had an understanding only to find that you came away with a different conclusion. I don't know how to be more honest or direct..

I get very confused between being compassionate and DBing. I have tried to put some of the advice to work which at times has meant my ignoring stuff she's said. Of course I get where she is and how she feels. I haven't expressed that to her though.

Also she has shared her feeling and threatened to move forward with the Disillusion but nothing has materialized so far. Is that my fault? What should I have been doing? I don't want to end our marriage. How do I BD here?

You DB by leaving her alone.

I am tired and feel beat up by all of this. I understand this has been hard for you...I really do understand that. Having said that, it's not right the way things have happened. I haven't done anything wrong. You left me and you left this marriage in October. That's how I have operated and what I believe. I didn't want any of this but I am a survivor and have pulled myself together and moved forward with my life.

This just tears me to pieces every time I read it. It's all true. I'm not sure how I screwed this ups so bad but I don't think the goal is to make her feel bad when it's my fault. That may work with WAW but not when it's your fault. I know its my fault and I love her so much. I'm just caught between that and wanting her back so desperately.

Love her enough to let her go.

I will get the paperwork from the attorney and either give it to you in person or mail it. You will need to review the paperwork and make comments/suggestions/concerns about the content. I mentioned before that I did not have all the information so what she did is use a standard dissolution format and put in the information that i did have into the document. If you want to hire an attorney for yourself that's fine. You can also discuss with her. There is no additional fees for the document to be edited.

What about all the details? Do I let those go for now. I get so scared when I think that I could be relegated to an every-other-weekend father. I still want to be a husband and a father

Details...yes let them go for now. You are not in any condition right now to sit down calmly with her and work them out...so don't. Let her write up the paperwork however she wants, nothing's written in stone. As far as being an every-other-weekend-father, if that's not what you want, don't settle for that. I didn't. My exW and I have 50/50 shared custody.

I hope that we can move on to the next stage of things in a respectful manner. We are parents and are going to have to have some type of relationship in order to parent effectively. I want to be on good terms with you and want you to move forward and be happy.

W

What does she mean by the next stage of things?

Please tell me this wasn't a serious question...