Thank you Sandi for your encouragement...it's definitely timely. My "guardian angel" at work has told me the same thing. A few days ago I mentioned to her that it seemed like I've been wasting my time over the last six months. She quickly admonished me by saying "look at the wonderful person you have become." She treats me like her son and is quick to give a 2x4 when appropriate. She made me write down my accomplishments over the past six months...so here it goes:
(1) I've gone from being a good father to being an awesome father. (2) I'm less critical and actually starting to see some glimpses of becoming an optimist. (3) I have overcome all the negatives at work and have become very content with my career at my new company. I was recently given an R&D award last week and my year-end review was outstanding. (4) I've lost 40 pounds. I went to my 20th high school reunion at the same weight as when I graduated. My former classmates told me that I hadn't changed a bit. (5) I have become more patient and tolerant (still a work in progress) (6) I have re-discovered my relationship with God. (7) I've become a happier person.
These accomplishments were achieved while under duress from my WAW situation! It's my opinion that my W no longer has any fuel to feed her anger towards me. I'm very proud of the person I've become. My W can't take this from me, even while kicking me to the curb.
Sandi...thanks again for your words of wisdom and encouragement. I'm going to be just fine regardless of what happens with my W...I'm a strong person. I can handle it.
Thanks, LFH
ME: 38 W: 35 D2.5 and S5 Married 12 years Separated (same house, different rooms) INILWYAM by W: 4/16/2009 The day W requested a D: 4/17/2009
(1) I've gone from being a good father to being an awesome father. (2) I'm less critical and actually starting to see some glimpses of becoming an optimist. (3) I have overcome all the negatives at work and have become very content with my career at my new company. I was recently given an R&D award last week and my year-end review was outstanding. (4) I've lost 40 pounds. I went to my 20th high school reunion at the same weight as when I graduated. My former classmates told me that I hadn't changed a bit. (5) I have become more patient and tolerant (still a work in progress) (6) I have re-discovered my relationship with God. (7) I've become a happier person.
I look at my accomplishments and then look at my W's behavior...and I'm ready to vomit. I have spent the last six months improving myself and am now ready for a loving adult relationship. I am not Friar LFH...I never signed up to be a monk! I WANT TO LIVE LIFE...WITH OR WITHOUT MY WIFE! I only have 23 days till Retrouvaille, but my patience is wearing extremely thin. God is definitely testing me. I pray everday for strength and tolerance.
-LFH
ME: 38 W: 35 D2.5 and S5 Married 12 years Separated (same house, different rooms) INILWYAM by W: 4/16/2009 The day W requested a D: 4/17/2009
I look at my accomplishments and then look at my W's behavior...and I'm ready to vomit. I have spent the last six months improving myself and am now ready for a loving adult relationship. I am not Friar LFH...I never signed up to be a monk! I WANT TO LIVE LIFE...WITH OR WITHOUT MY WIFE! I only have 23 days till Retrouvaille, but my patience is wearing extremely thin. God is definitely testing me. I pray everday for strength and tolerance.
-LFH
Keep praying for those things, and they will come.
As for the next 23 days, come on man. You've done 6 months. What's a nother 23 days? And, if this doesn't go the way you want, all those other "opportunities" aren't going anywhere.
Sounds like you just needed to hear that. You already know it.
I see a lot of positive stuff on here. I just want to know what people did to get to that point. I feel like I am play acting to be positive and project that image to people who are around me. I especially have to do it in front of my little girl. What do I do be honest and express my feelings? OR act like everything is ok so I look good and portray a positive experience all the time. Not depressed or sad but definitely lonely and hurt. I hate the idea of being single. It wasn't that great the first time
I see a lot of positive stuff on here. I just want to know what people did to get to that point. I feel like I am play acting to be positive and project that image to people who are around me. I especially have to do it in front of my little girl. What do I do be honest and express my feelings? OR act like everything is ok so I look good and portray a positive experience all the time. Not depressed or sad but definitely lonely and hurt. I hate the idea of being single. It wasn't that great the first time
"Fake it till you make it". It is a common mantra among recovering addicts, but it works here too. If you keep thinking of yourself positively, eventually your feelings will follow.
Thanks Tristan. You advice is really appreciated. JUst being able to say things on this site is helpful. It makes you feel less alone. Will be back today sometime for sure.
