Mother's Day Disaster

[ACJ]

I got the surveyor sorted. I managed to find one who works 'normal' hours and doesn't knock off at 3pm!

Despite my employer not supporting me in my quest for even more education I attended my first day on the masters course. It was a bit boring as it was just the induction day but I met two really nice people. One is on a slighty different course t me and the other is on the same course. We had a blast!

I've been to a retirement dinner tonight.I wasn't really looking forward to it as I was mainly there for political reasons to do with my job. However when I walked in the chair of the group that was organising the evening said 'bloody hell I didn't reognise you, you look gorgeous' I was a bit embarrassed especially as he said it at the top of his voice. Thankfully there were only a few people thee at that point as I was early. However, it did make me feel rather good about myself especaially as I had deliberated over whether to wear that particular dress or not as it's a little more tightly fitting than it used to be

[Truelove]

Hi ACJ,

'bloody hell I didn't recognise you, you look gorgeous'

That sounds fantastic and I am sure it will boost your confidence.

Good that you found a surveyor that works normal hours.

Have a lovely week.

[ACJ]

I'm feeling well and truely battered today.

Last night I stupidly sent a TM to the guy I went out with briefly a few weeks ago. I have a party to go to in a couple of weeks time and I was asking if he wanted to come with me. We have kept in touch despite not dating and last Thursday he phoned me out of the blue. Unfortunately I read things wrong. He did have the courtesy to ring me to say he couldn't come to the party but then went on to tell me he is now seeing someone else and has been for a few weeks.

In one fell swoop all my new found confidence disappeared and I suddenly feel so very alone all over again.


I'm tired of all this heartache.

[BeingMe]

I am sorry, ACJ! Eventually, you will learn to shrug these kinds of things off. If he were the one, then it would've worked out, but he's not. So, move on! Take your time, date leisurely with no serious intent for now, just fun! You are gorgeous -- you've been told this by independent witnesses --- you have fun with your friends, so must be a funloving person --- so, loosen up, don't get hung up on little bumps in the road.

And, what you did wasn't stupid ---- really, you just asked the guy out ---- no biggie. You didn't ask him to marry you.

The one will arrive eventually, and you'll be glad you didn't rush anything.

[ACJ]

Thanks BM I'm feeling a little less bruised this evening. I think I felt stupid b/c if he had told me last week when he rang that he was dating someone else I wouldn't have asked him to come to the party with me.

No real harm done except a bruised ego on my part

When I think about it this is only the 3rd man in my life I've had a date with. The other two were H (who I met when 19)and a lad I went out with between the ages of 13 and 17. No wonder I don't know how to behave when dating a mature adult I've never done it before

Just hope I don't have to wait too long for the next one to come along. I'm tired of being by myself

[ACJ]

Threads are very long these days!

I've had two really good nights out in the last two days. First one on Friday was a black tie ball. I was a bit perturbed that I got put on a table full of people I didn't know despite knowing lots of others on other tables but I can handle that as I have to do this kind of thing at work. It then turned out I was sat on a table of 'newly lefts'. At first I kept trying to change the convo as I'm way past wanting to talk about STBXH at social events but then I realised that by listening and letting them have thier say I was potentially helping these people. So in the end I just listened. When the dancing started it got easier and I did get a slow dance at the end of the evening which is a first.

Last night's evening out was a foray into the unkonwn. Or so I thought. It turned out I knew more people there than I thought I would. It was just a drinks and meet and greet night but I really enjoyed myslef. Got just a 'little' bit tipsey into the bargain though

[TRUSTING]

ACJ,

Sounds like you are really getting quite a life.
Don't be too hard on yourself regarding your feelings.
You have been through hell and back, your self -esteem will waver but eventually you will get it on solid ground.

You are an extremely beautiful person, inside and out.
Keep telling yourself this. We are not defined by the ML'er that hurt us. They think irrationally and are in their own little world.

Trusting

[ACJ]

Don't be too hard on yourself regarding your feelings.

Trying not to be. I spent the afternoon today with the friend that I met the guy who took me out through. She was just showing me some photos and there were pics of him in with them. I was shocked by how I felt when I saw them. My heart missed a beat and now I feel quite down again. Thought I'd got over it. After all i did only meet him twice. It seems he got under my skin far more than I had realised. I really could do w/o teenage angst feelings as well as dealing with a MLer and the big D being just around the corner.

[BeingMe]

Yeah! Fool him for leaving! I am glad you are having so much fun. Try being alone for awhile and see if you could be comfortable with that. See if you can be alone rather than lonely. Then, when you are seriously dating, it's not because you are lonely, but because you desire someone to love (sometimes we forget the initial reason for dating or marrying, or whatever).

Just some thoughts --- a friend of mine was talking about this recently and I remember your saying you're tired of being alone.

Take care.

[ACJ]

Try being alone for awhile and see if you could be comfortable with that

After 4yrs of being alone I can categorically state I am not comfortable with it. I take your point about the difference between being lonely and being alone but I really do believe I'm ready for someone new to enter my life. Only a few months ago before H announced his new baby I wouldn't have been able to contemplate that but I know I have moved on enormously since then and I'm ready to let someone else in.