I've wondered about you. Sorry to see you like this.
If it helps, I'm not surprised you are struggling with this. You've known him for so long. He's so familiar, even if he is flawed. I don't think there is a magic potion for getting over him. I think you just do it, one day at a time. Maybe work on thought stopping tricks, and distraction, when you feel yourself getting pulled in? Refocus on yourself. Work on your GAL.
I know, you already know all that. But DBing doesn't end when you D. A lot of the same tools will still help!
