It's too hard sometimes

[TooLateForMe]

We were really heading downhill for 3 1/2 months before I started a marriage rebuilders class at my church. It was seven sessions and I was struck by how much I HAVE been doing wrong.

I've been blaming her for the separation because I thought I'd been working so hard to keep things together for the past three years. But everything I tried backfired. I didn't have anyone to tell me I was doing everything wrong.

I wish I'd known about this class five years ago. The hard part now is that I know I'd be a better husband if we reconcile, but its 100 percent up to her to give me that chance. That's why DBing is sooooooo hard. I want to run over there and say "I know I screwed up and need to make changes and I'm finally ready. Can I come back."

She's not ready for that and may never be and I've never been very patient. That's the key here, patience, and I don't know if I can make it.

I'm right there with you. I'm often struck by how much she did RIGHT to work on things, things that I just ignored or rejected. One thing I try to do is remember the things I did right, however few and infrequent.