Wife filing for divorce this week

[ClingingToHope]

We have lots in common. I've been married 13 years. We have two wonderful daughters. I did some very thoughtless things and then did a lot of thoughtful things that I didn't realize were actually the wrong things to do until I started going to a marriage rebuilders class after we separated.

My W has been going out with her divorced, single friends from work. She's been spotted at least once with an OM at the county fair. She says that person was just a friend and nothing to worry about.

I too keep trying to make things easy for her. Just tonight she called and said she'd be late getting home, could I go to the house and relieve the after school sitter. I was covering for a friend at work -- and said yes anyway.

I get to see my kids every day because I have a flexible job. Yesterday I was over at the house -- which is still half mine -- after school waiting for the sitter when I noticed the sink was piled high with dishes. So I loaded the dishwasher.

A big difference in my case is that she hasn't wavered since saying in February she wants a divorce. But in the past four weeks, there's been no mention of moving anything forward. She isn't talking about closing joint accounts, she hasn't moved forward on hiring a Realtor, there's been no talk of getting anything in writing.

So I'm in limbo for now.

I've been on the site for a few weeks and have read the success stories. The big themes are improve yourself, detach from the situation and have patience.

Figure out the things that contributed to your situation and change them. Find friends to help you through the loneliness, which can be unbearable. Don't contact her unless it's necessary. Don't help unless she requests it AND it doesn't detract from your situation. And then wait, wait, wait.

It's easier said than done. I had an awful weekend this past one. I keep wondering what she's doing when I have my girls.