It's too hard sometimes

[ClingingToHope]

I am five months into the separation and desperately want to go back. But I'm working hard on improving myself -- going to marriage rebuilding classes at a new church -- finding friends to do things with on the weekends, getting a second job because now money is tight, getting a nice apartment that my girls will feel is a second home.

Every day though is a trial and I've had some weak moments, including one this past weekend. Your story is very similar to mine, but you have to keep telling yourself that you can't and don't want to go back to the marriage the way it was. You have to improve yourself to the point she wants you back and wants to WORK at the marriage.

When you do talk, is there any emotion in her voice or is it cold and impersonal -- like she's talking to the neighbor? In my five months, there's only been one conversation where it felt like we were connected again and cared about each other. That was three weeks ago and I've held on to that feeling ever since -- and it's too long.