Ok...he's already in bed. Spent the night on the computer and went to bed. Didn't even do the Dialogue question that Retrou asked us to do. Said he didn't know what you write so he didn't do it. This is really hard. Really, it is. I could scream I am so frustrated right now. Crying again. I am going to say this....I want a husband who treats me like I matter. I want a husband who has some emotional depth. I want a husband who cherishes me. I want to be able to support my spouse and talk to him and build a dream together and grow in love together. Do I want a fairytale??? NO!! I"m very real with how hard I know a relationship is and how hard it can get..but I do have needs. I am able to determine when one of my needs is born out of my codependancy and when its legit. The above needs are legit. I, however, have a husband that is not giving me any of these things right now and may never be able to. I love him and I'm committed to keeping my end of the commitment up. I cannot imagine doing this forever. Heck, I can't even imagine doing this until next week. But, I don't have to. I will just do this for tonight and then tomorrow I will see what that day brings and take that one as it comes. Minute by minute if I have to.

Please pray for me/us. Really, this is gonig to take a miracle.

Gina B

M 43 H 34
D 4
H asked for D on 6/21/09:1st D mediation 7/27;D says he wants to try 8/18;
*I will stumble, I will fall down but I will not be moved.(N.Grant)