The coldness is bad. I'm guessing it's a built-up response to the pain of guilt from hurting you. She's pulling away from the pain you show her. Sometimes you don't even know you're showing it. As hard as it is (trust me, I know) you need to show her a positive picture of yourself. Don't argue or plead. You won't win.
Count your blessings, though. My W is past the coldness and shows a lot of pride in her new-found independence. I try to be supportive but it's crushing.
Point being that your good attitude will stop the need for her to avoid you and the bad feelings.
Other people here will have better advice, but I hope this helps for now.
~Mark
Me: 38 W: 34 Together: 9yrs 1st M: may '03 1st D: april '08 1st bomb: june '08 remarried: oct '08 2nd bomb: aug '09 --(W asked for D one week into 3 mo. trial separation which was meant to save our M)
