I disagee with ageeing with him. But, I do think you need to allow him to have his feelings, and validate them. So, you say, "I understand", "I'm sorry", etc. He needs to feel that you will "allow" him his feelings, and realize their validity.
I also don't agree with making it look like you are doing things. But I do agree with getting a life. Which could well mean that you go out alone, without telling him where. That you do try to look good, for yourself.
Do what you do for yourself. Not with an eye towards manipulating him. (There are people who will disagree with that point of view, and there may be times where it is appropriate.) I believe in being a better copy of you. And, yes, that better copy probably has some mystery attached. But that better copy isn't trying to manipulate. That better copy is happy when she gets home, whether he seems to care of not, because it doesn't matter to her! She is living her own life.
Read DR. Look at the tools in there, and see where you can apply them!
