I am tired and feel beat up by all of this. I understand this has been hard for you...I really do understand that. Having said that, it's not right the way things have happened. I haven't done anything wrong. You left me and you left this marriage in October. That's how I have operated and what I believe. I didn't want any of this but I am a survivor and have pulled myself together and moved forward with my life. The distress and unhappiness that you have seen over the past month or two is because I'm being forced to be something I'm not.
This actually made me teary eyed.
Quote:
She has told me clearly how she feels and I have probably not validated it. Mainly because I'm ignoring it or otherwise trying to figure out the DBing stuff.
Whaaaaaaaat? The DBing stuff IS validating. When someone tells you they are hurt and want to be left alone...validating is saying ok and giving them what they ask for. You can't blame this on anyone. The pain and pressure she is describing has come from you. You are just giving OM the edge.
Quote:
It;s odd that she keeps talking about paperwork and getting paperwork. She and I both know that we need to discuss details before it even makes sense to do first draft of disillusion paperwork. She is definitely not interested in having any conversations yet we've always worked things out in the past...even in tough situations.
She made it explicitly clear what she is doing as far as the paperwork and why. Yet, you are insisting that you know how it should be done. It is kind of demeaning. Obviously, having conversations is too hard and she wants to use lawyers but with the hope of you accepting and ultimately being able to converse.
This is a sad, hard email for you to read and digest. Do nothing. Do not respond yet. You have to get your head on straight.
