My Intro: Thanks for Reading!

[RedSoxFan]

Well here's her response to my phone call two nights ago and my followup email. One long paragraph. I've included my email below it for reference. Yes I'm sad.

RSF,

I have given some thought and consideration what to you have said and I do not agree. I have spent a lot of time talking to you about my feelings and beliefs about our relationship. I have spent hours going over and over the same thing. I have been honest and direct and have walked away from conversations feeling like we had an understanding only to find that you came away with a different conclusion. I don't know how to be more honest or direct.. I am tired and feel beat up by all of this. I understand this has been hard for you...I really do understand that. Having said that, it's not right the way things have happened. I haven't done anything wrong. You left me and you left this marriage in October. That's how I have operated and what I believe. I didn't want any of this but I am a survivor and have pulled myself together and moved forward with my life. The distress and unhappiness that you have seen over the past month or two is because I'm being forced to be something I'm not. I'm living a dual life, one married and one single. I'm living incongruent to my beliefs and it is causing me a great deal of unhappiness and distress. I cannot continue on this path. It's not right for me or for you. You are right when you said on the phone that it needs to end. It does. It can't continue on like this. It is ruining any possibility of us being friends and being the best parents possible. I will get the paperwork from the attorney and either give it to you in person or mail it. You will need to review the paperwork and make comments/suggestions/concerns about the content. I mentioned before that I did not have all the information so what she did is use a standard dissolution format and put in the information that i did have into the document. If you want to hire an attorney for yourself that's fine. You can also discuss with her. There is no additional fees for the document to be edited. I hope that we can move on to the next stage of things in a respectful manner. We are parents and are going to have to have some type of relationship in order to parent effectively. I want to be on good terms with you and want you to move forward and be happy.

W


So I have a few initial thoughts. She has told me clearly how she feels and I have probably not validated it. Mainly because I'm ignoring it or otherwise trying to figure out the DBing stuff.

She's being forced into something she not, OK fair but she hasn't done anything either.

It;s odd that she keeps talking about paperwork and getting paperwork. She and I both know that we need to discuss details before it even makes sense to do first draft of disillusion paperwork. She is definitely not interested in having any conversations yet we've always worked things out in the past...even in tough situations.

I'd love to know too if OM is once again putting pressure on.


+++Reference Email+++++++

W,

You asked for some specificity after our talk the other night. I don’t have much time right now but wanted to share one of the things that I think is really hurting us. Basically we’re not having any good healthy conversations. I feel that you are deliberately avoiding me. What I’m getting from you is the “talk to the hand” response. You mentioned that you felt I wasn’t hearing you/getting it when we were having conversations and you were consequently afraid to do or say anything for fear of sending the wrong message. I’m sorry you’re feeling that way. That has to be a crappy feeling. I honestly don’t recall us having any healthy conversations (started with a purpose and ended with some resolution) that we could point back to and say one way or the other that I was hearing you or you me.

RSF