Infidelity and lying going hand in hand. My stbxh could look me right in the eye, lie, and not bat an eye. I don't know if he was that good at lying or I just wanted to believe him so badly. Probably a combination.
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
Infidelity and lying going hand in hand. My stbxh could look me right in the eye, lie, and not bat an eye. I don't know if he was that good at lying or I just wanted to believe him so badly. Probably a combination.
Read up on "truth bias." We generally seem to want to trust and overlook a lot of warning signs. In hindsight we slap ourselves at how obvious and telling the signs were - but it seems to be the rule that most people here take the "My spouse would never..." line despite being given advice to the contrary.
Most spouses would. Not always being something they seek out directly.
"You can't reason someone out of a position they didn't reason themselves into."
Yeah...we tend to trust our spouses. The first time around, at least.
I wonder if people who got divorced because of their spouses infidelity, ever learn to trust their next spouse with the same "innocence" they had for their first spouse.
There's a Jewish saying that the altar weeps when divorce happens among a couple who were both in their first marriage. There's something "special" about the first marriage. I imagine trust is part of that.
After the betrayal we tend to become jaded. It is hard to trust again. I find myself over analyzing everything with the new man I'm seeing. I think he does too. We have lost that innocence.
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
I wonder if people who got divorced because of their spouses infidelity, ever learn to trust their next spouse with the same "innocence" they had for their first spouse.
Well, you'll never know from me. Marriage is a one time commitment. And I know for one, I will never be able to trust someone whole heartedly again.
Me 35/XW 33 S13 & S12 M: 10/17/98 OM & S: 07/08 D final 06/09/09 12/03/09 - 06/13/10 "Piercing" 06/13/10: Engaged to Re-marry 10/17/10 06/25/10: Expecting baby #3 2/14/11
That was a sincere expression of appreciation for the people here. It wasn't a joke. For anyone to go through the hell we have to save our marriages says something.
