Sounds like you are further along than I am in a way. I cannot "take her", I get rejected every time. Now even more so, since she knows we will be doing it sometime within the next few days anyway. That is why I still feel rejected by her, despite ML more often this year than the previous three combined.
Spellfire,
I've not been posting here for rather a long time.
It seems like in many ways you've made big progress - yours is not a SSM anymore.
But what you're saying is ML on schedule has been great but now you want more... more spontaneity. I've got two thoughts:
(1) Its always well worth reminding yourself that the likelihood is that no matter how much sex you have, will never be enough. You'll always want more. I think its part of the male mindset?
(2) Maybe a way of progressing things is to simply start stating your desire at opportune moments. I'm not saying "monitor" her mood for when she might "agree" to sex (very "Nice Guy"!). What I am saying is, if you feel that centred powerful sexual urge within you (as opposed to wanting sex to cheer yourself up/ make yourself feel better), just communicate it to her there and then with humour and intent: e.g. "I'm looking at you Wife, and I just want to take you upstairs right now and ravish you from top to bottom." You're not asking her - you're simply stating your desire. It puts the ball in her court as to how to respond: "No" "Okay" "Maybe" "Later". The point is to start some sexual interaction and playfulness, leading to tension, which creates the opportunity for her to be sexual in return. Healthy women do want this kind of sexually-charged atmosphere in their marriages, make no mistake. They want to be desired and for that desire to be expressed. They just don't want their men to always "need" to have sex with them, or to react with anger and petulance if they reject them. Does that make sense?
Can I ask - what is the sex like once it gets going?
S&A
"A man can be destroyed but not defeated" - from The Old Man and the Sea, by Ernest Hemingway.
Which I take to mean that every man has within him a spirit of relentlessness and optimism. Its already there; he just has to cultivate it.
