But I will tell you this, you don't know the FIRST f**king thing about being married to an abuser.
For your information, my wife verbally and emotionally abused me for a very very long time - if that makes me sound like a weenie, then it's probably true. I never raised my voice to her - she cussed me out. I never raised a hand to her EVER, she has punched me, thrown stuff at me, etc. I never have said a single derogatory word to her - I've received countless insults and tear downs. She had everything I could have possible given her, and it wasn't enough. I am not sanctimonious in the slightest - I also certainly was the furthest thing from a saint.
I never responded to her because I'd been raised to believe that you don't put down your wife, you don't EVER hit a woman, you stand up for your wife no matter what, etc. I didn't realize that you don't have to let your W be a jerk.
I had every "right" to seek solace in the arms of a kind and gentle woman, I didn't, I simply started establishing boundaries. Am I special? Nope. Am I perfect? Absolutely not!
However, I sleep well at night because I did the right thing.
How about that? I hope that will help someone too!
Back to the issue at hand - I always answer my W gently and kindly, even when she throws crap at me, and I don't ever suggest that anyone act otherwise. That's how human beings should operate in general. I just see so many LBS compromising and allowing things slide - both men and women. I know it full well because I did it myself... How about we agree that kind and gentle works wonders for conversations, while respect and boundaries guides living?
