Hi Bill,

You don't know how many times I have started a post on this thread and either lost it or had to shut it down because something else needed my immediate attention. So if I'm a little bit behind on things please forgive me.

I can understand perfectly your wifes intimacy issues as well as her frustration over not being able to have an O during sex. I have seen where you have already been told that statistically W is in the majority rather than the minority I also see a lot of emphasis on clitoral O which in essense IS the easiest to achieve due to the location of the clitoris and it's accessability for manual and mechanical manipulation. If your wife is like I was though...THAT just isn't enough She WANTS that supreme moment during intimacy that transcends everything else. I would hazard to guess that she blames herself and her boundary issues and maybe even feels like she is "broke" by not being able to achieve what she wants and she probably even feels that she is failing you in this area as well. I have felt all of those things and it is no walk in the park...I didn't have my first O during sex until I was 30 yo. When it happened I nearly cried But like your W I had to get over my issues first. That you are so supportive and patient with her during this time is SO admirable...that alone will help her probably more than she will ever let you know

Does W have anyone to talk to that has shared similar boundary and intimacy issues? Has had similar experiences that led up to the issues? Basically someone to help her realize that she is not so alone in her problems? I think that if she could find someone like that it would also help as well...kinda like this BB is for all of us ya know If I could have found someone who had the same experiences I had I think I might have gotten past some of it a lot more quickly. I had to struggle through on my own though and while I got past it eventually it was one heck of a long road. You might approach her about looking for some form of support group...not one of those "ALL men are evil, we are justified in our issues", angry militant groups though OK. They only make the problem worse You would have to watch how you approach this issue though...you don't want her to feel as if she is being pressured just so the 2 of you can finally have sex though. I'm sure you would go about it the right way so I don't know why I caution you about it

Zoo

"If patience is worth anything, it must endure to the end of time. And a living faith will last in the midst of the blackest storm." - Mahatma Gandhi