Buddy, as best I can make out ...you aint anywhere even on the detachment dart board. Make your own life and get to it now. While it is far easier for me to do and to have done through my ordeal since we are pretty much kid-less (I will conceded that to you ..to an extent), the capability that you have to detach from her given your family circumstances seems to be uncharted waters to this date.
Quit hashing over the permutations, algorithms, probabilities and stats of this and that rumbling around nside your W's way confused mind. Leave all the confusion to her, you don't need to be this way. Unplug from her fully and completely but for the issues involving the boys. The sooner you start, the sooner you will be there.
Don't make me turn to the lumber!!!
Your bro'
Ted
Can I get a Amen?
CIPA, if I remember correctly didn't you used to be into lifting weights? There are two parts to getting stronger - the workout then the rest phase. Do you see how much you have been thru in '09? Your marriage is on the rocks, you get numerous bombs dropped on you, you lose your job, find a job, move away from your boys and you haven't rested yet. That is a lot of stress. Once you just rest you will see more clearly. The rest is for you. You can cut more firewood if you stop and sharpen your saw occassionaly. I promise that if you detach you will be a better Dad, better at work, better husband, and a better CIPA.
Take care of yourself - emotionally, spiritually, physically and mentally. Give yourself some credit for getting this far, now call a timeout and catch your breathe and get some water. Time to get your head back in the game. You are reacting instead of thinking thru the play.
Detach, drope the rope, let go, find space, meditate, whatever it takes so that you find a little peace. It's not your fault you are in this situation. Forgive yourself and love yourself. You can't give away won't you don't have. You can handle it.
Cheers Coach
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
