Quote: But then she pushed me away and stared to cry - panic attack. She told me how scared she was, how she didn't want me to hurt her. I held her for a long time, told her that I love her and will never hurt her, will never leave her - she is imprinted on me and will be a part of me even after I die. She says that she has never loved someone so much and it's hard dealing with the emotions - it would have been so much easier to just leave. She said she is much more fragile than she appears. I stayed with her for a long time, held her, comforted her until she said it was time for me to go so she could get some sleep.
Bill, your reaction was wonderful. It nearly made me cry. I am sure it helped her and you guys will finally get where you want to get.
Just one very personal thing that occurred to me while reading about her reaction. And you do not have to answer me or even mention it any further. Again it is very personal. Has she ever had any really bad sexual experience (I mean molestation, near-rape or even rape)or a bad experience of other kind that she may associate with sex (abuse from a former partner). It is not uncommon for people to hide that kind of terrible memory for years, even from themselves. And it resurfaces in various ways...
I do not know how or even if you should explore that. H*ll, I do not even know if it is a good idea to post this, but since we are being so personal, I thought I should.
Sorry if I overstepped the boundaries. I appreciate you a lot and pray that you and your W will live happily together to see the twins have grandchildren (having married when they finish college, BTW)!
Another thing, have you thought of Retrouvaille ? My H and I went last summer and it helped us a lot. I had lost all hope of ever being able to patch my M, and he had also. It is not a panacea, and did not solve all our problems but it taught us we can communicate. Just a thought.
"You don't throw a whole life away just 'cause it's banged up a little"
Tom Smith in "Seabiscuit"
