Buddy, as best I can make out ...you aint anywhere even on the detachment dart board.
Make your own life and get to it now. While it is far easier for me to do and to have done through my ordeal since we are pretty much kid-less (I will conceded that to you ..to an extent), the capability that you have to detach from her given your family circumstances seems to be uncharted waters to this date.
Quit hashing over the permutations, algorithms, probabilities and stats of this and that rumbling around nside your W's way confused mind. Leave all the confusion to her, you don't need to be this way. Unplug from her fully and completely but for the issues involving the boys. The sooner you start, the sooner you will be there.
