Question

[awest1217]

Thank you for the suggestions. I am definitely working on those. It is hard to go out and do a lot because $ are tight. With getting absolutely no support from H for the past 5 months, I am strapped and looking at some difficult choices to make about money, but I am doing a lot. My only problem is when I am vague on what I have done H gets really mad, which is why we fought last Friday. He gets really mad that I am making plans and if he asks not telling him. It absolutely drives him nuts and when I tell him I don't want to talk about it, he keeps pushing, usually we are somewhere together like the car coming from his parents, at the house or somewhere else I cannnot just leave. Also if I were to say "please drop it" and possibly hang up, he will call and call and call until I answer.

You are right MommaDucki. He has a lot of control over me, and slowly I am getting it back. I just am scared if I take all my control back and he comes home, I will be too independent and he will just leave again. Either way, I am doing my best to stay busy. September was hard with being back at work and getting S in a good routine, but now we are and almost every weekend in October is booked including a trip to TN to see my brother and sister. I am looking forward to the next month!

Thank you again and I will be working on the suggestions of letting go.

For MommiDuckie, I am not thinking about H or OW as much anymore and definitely working on thought stopping. H lives in a house that is on the way to S's daycare. I used to always drive by and see waht I could see. Now I don't even notice when we drive by. It is getting easier slowly. I am just more focused on us because H goes to the doctor tomorrow for the first time in years, and he has had severe migraines since he has left. Doctor said worse case senario is a tumor (H mother had one when she was pregnant with H) or a brain bleed. Best case senario is just medicine for a while. I think I am just really worried about H and his health which is why this is harder.

3rd appointment with therapist today so looking for good things.