That is why, when you put something on the board, and you don't know how to handle it, you wait. And you come back and you look and read before you act. It doesn't usually take us long.
We are all going through stuff, and are all at different stages.
We are here to help each other, deal with and understand our feelings, see the bigger picture.
When we tell you not to talk, not to reply, whatever, it is because we have been there. Almost everyone posting to you, is way further down the road. We know what doesn't work. Mostly by making the mistakes that you are making.
We try, very hard, to guide others, to help them avoid making those same mistakes.
Can we guarantee you your marriage? NO NO NO. In no way, shape, or form.
Can we keep you from turning this into a situation where everyone walks away with anger, hatred, and regrets? YES.
The silence, right now is for both of you.
It is time for you to work on you and let her do her thing. She will talk when she is ready.
You may be D'd, like Trapt, or maybe not. You never know. Go read, learn, listen.
Time is on your side if you get out of your own way.
None of what we are telling you is a ploy, a way to manipulate, or a magic solution. It is really what you have to do. It is the only way to come out of this a better person.
Some people resist. Some people don't hang around long enough to see what happens. Everyone has to make their own choices about how long or if they really want to do this.
You haven't really even done that yet. You will if you give yourself a chance.
"Acceptance doesn't mean resignation. It means understanding that something is what it is and there's got to be a way through it."--Michael J. Fox
