wife left, wants divorce, possibly bipolar

[ryepatch]

until tonight, having a little backslide, panicking. so many things i don't know. does she think of herself as single, for example? that would really bother me. why isn't she calling me? what is she trying to accomplish? does she really want me ouut of her life forever? this is so hard.

overall i'm doing better, but i feel like i've been so patient and my patience isn't getting rewarded, and i'm making all these decisions on absolutely no information. all i know is how she felt about me, not how she feels about me now. no clue.

there are love notes scattered all over the house, evverything's half packed, i'm trying to stay in a narrow little space of it.

i don't know if i'm fooling myself. i'm going to suuch great lengths to save our marriage, and she's not doing anything, she's not even in therapy for herself although she's clearly screwed up. i just want to swoop in and save her. i know i can't.

i am so in love. . . i don't know if i'm happily married or an idiot.