Hello Kittyfish & Sandi2!

[BigJohn]

SG/IWITW,

Thanks for the insight and feedback. We are all here to support one another. I often think to myself that something good must eventually come from all of this grief my family and I are going through. If there is anyone out there that can benefit from what I am going through and how I'm handling it, I think that is great!

Well, my W and I went to mediation today to determine child custody. Won't go into all of the details except to say that the end result was positive- my W, the mediator and I agreed on a schedule for equal joint physical custody (aka 50/50). From the perspective of a survivor of D myself, I felt that this was the best arrangement for our kids and I'm grateful that the mediator came to the same conclusion. My W on the other hand was very upset. After the mediation she would not talk to me and drove off angry (we took separate cars to the mediation). As I felt my W needed space, I chose to run several errands this afternoon before going home. In the midst of running my errands, I received several angry, emotional, somewhat off the wall TMs from my W. As I was headed home, my W TM me saying she was going to hang out at my BIL house (here in town) by herself. When I got home, all three kids were here; my W was not. I've exchanged a few TMs from my W this evening- she is still very angry/emotional. No response from her yet as to when she is coming home tonight- I won't send a second TM asking again. I served dinner, everyone got their homework done, the kids are in bed- everything is under control here- so I'll let her blow off steam and come home when she is ready.

I feel bad that my W is having a rough time of it following mediation today, however my W's issues are hers to deal with and hers alone. She is the only one who can ultimately solve them. I wish her the best and will not do anything to undermine her efforts in that regard. My focus remains the welfare of myself and our three kids. As my W and I move through the D process, the door remains open a crack for R, but she has to be the one to be willing to initiate the first move.