awest, I'd responded on your other thread in newcomers, but wanted to add a few things here as well. My heart really does go out to you. I see too much of myself in you, and it's a rough place to be in. I'm a few months ahead of you in the sitch, and would like to tell you it gets easier. The trick that's been working for me? Whether H and I work out or D is our path, life must go on for me and my D. There's no use or sense in letting him frustrate you this way every day, so stop letting him. You've spoken of how he claims you are too controlling, but it seems he has a certain amount of control over you as well. Stop yourself whenever a negative thought of him or OW enters your mind. Think a happy thought. Think of S, as hard as that might be. Think of anything other than that negative tought. In time, it'll become habit to not think those negative things at all. Also, start taking hold of your life. Like others have said, try just "not being at home" some time when you think he'd call or come by. It really does make H think. It's been working for me for over a month now. Peaks his curiosity.
Overall, I can just say, if you don't feel it's over, don't let it be over, BUT, don't let his actions affect you this way. He's resposible for what he's doing, not you. He only calls when he wants to see S because he feels there's no other reason for him to call...start finding reasons to make him want to call again! :P
me 32 H 30 T 8 years M ~5 years DD 3 years first d-bomb dec 06 second bomb may 07 third bomb july 08 finally seperated jan 09 a move for "progress'" sake may 11
