So I cried tonight. I just feel like for so many years hubby treated me like sh*t- whether it's the truth or not- it's how I really, truly feel (i too treated him really badly). So it's hard be eager to open myself up to him again. I mean-why now? For what reason? Should I trust him?
I was in a comfort zone. I knew how things were. I accepted it. He was the guy who couldn't stand me. Who really hated me. I was accepting of that. I really didn't give a sh*t anymore. I could have care less. Fine- go burn an effigy of me- what the hell do I care.
I think this wasn't in the game book for me. It was so unexpected. It really shook me up. I have my doubts. Is this only really about being able to be with the kids. I mean what is the agenda here.
I mean how does one go to- if you are dying, on your deathbed, I would still feel no love for you to I love you again in the matter of an hour. I mean really.
Hubby stated he really didn't know what to do anymore. That he was miserable and I think he was hurting also and this was the only option he felt he had. OK- but for 14 frickin' months.
I know this- he does it again. I am walking out that door immediately. I am not going through this cr*p ever again.
I feel like it has been many years of a terrible, hellish existence. I think he feels the same way about the past. It has felt like a train wreck in incredibly slow motion. Just horrible. So we can not go back to the way it was.
M38, H37 S3, S7 Together 15 yrs Married 8 yrs Bomb July 2008 Inhouse separation "I hate you" "We are over" (too many times to count) Reconciled Sept 2009 (still worth it)
