ummm...then clearly, as has been mentioned a million times, your focus is on the wrong things. You're asking about Retro and you can't remember what you AGREED to about your children's holiday schedule. Your first post about it said "who knows for sure?" Well YOU are supposed to know.
Now you have to approach it with W that now that you've had more time to think about it you'd like to change the agreement. That requires a little more diplomacy. Perhaps you should think about what plans you'd actually like to make for the holidays, PLANS, Kevin, for you.
I think it's a bit telling that your major concern is that "it seems like she's having a blast." Not really about how much time you get with the kids. Who knows if she's having a blast. Maybe YOU should seem like YOU are having a blast. Maybe you should approach her with some wonderful things you wanted to experience with the children for the holidays, so you would like to arrange that.
Get off the pity pot, FORGET about Retro! and start making holiday plans. Get online and find something to do. Talk to your family about what they'd like to do for the holidays. You know what Moms do? They start planning this stuff NOW. Get involved in your own life!
I looked at the schedule for the kids and saw that she has them for halloween, thanksgiving and Christmas. I'm not sure how I missed that originally. Something in the back of my mind tells me that it was planned out that way. But who knows for sure.
Kevin, after thinking about it...I can only assume you were drinking for you to give this answer. I can't think of any othe reason for this behavior.
I really hope and pray you actually address this issue with AA and the 12 Steps.
I was not drinking when this occured. My memory is not very good probably due to the drinking over the years. But I was not drinking for this. Thanks for assuming though.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
Actually, I probably shouldn't even say that. It probably was a natural assumption based on my past. But I really was not drinking for that.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
You didn't offend me. I just didn't think it through before I responded.
It was a natural assumption especially from someone with your situation.
Tonight I got an email from a friend trying to plan a birthday party for me Friday night. I called my W and asked if she could watch the kids Friday night. She seemed annoyed. She said either she would watch them or hire a baby sitter since she already had plans.
Defend her all yall want. But as far as being a mother goes, she has gone down hill to suck mode. Almost anytime she has asked me to watch the kids, I haven't hesitated. But if I ask her which is rare, she always has plans and seems annoyed. How can you as a mother be annoyed at the opportunity to spend an additional evening with your own kids when you only get them every other week?
She is not the mother she used to be. She thinks she is all that and then some for guys to chase after and only has her required times available for her own kids.
Total BS. I will no longer defend her as a loving mother. I'm just irritated at her.
Kevin
Last edited by K4D; 09/23/0903:20 AM.
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
Don't ask her next time. Take care of it on your own. Get a sitter or family member. Don't go down that rabbit hole making everything about her. She's got that covered.
_________________________ Me-41 W-39 M-15 yrs T-17 yrs D-12 S-9 S-8 B 5/08 S 1/09
Tonight I got an email from a friend trying to plan a birthday party for me Friday night. I called my W and asked if she could watch the kids Friday night. She seemed annoyed. She said either she would watch them or hire a baby sitter since she already had plans.
Defend her all yall want. But as far as being a mother goes, she has gone down hill to suck mode. Almost anytime she has asked me to watch the kids, I haven't hesitated. But if I ask her which is rare, she always has plans and seems annoyed. How can you as a mother be annoyed at the opportunity to spend an additional evening with your own kids when you only get them every other week?
She is not the mother she used to be. She thinks she is all that and then some for guys to chase after and only has her required times available for her own kids.
Total BS. I will no longer defend her as a loving mother. I'm just irritated at her.
Kevin
Kevin, I agree with you here. After reading all of your posts for many months. Her actions have been selfish at times and not in the best regard for the kids at times. I think that is a common theme for many here on the board.
M38, H37 S3, S7 Together 15 yrs Married 8 yrs Bomb July 2008 Inhouse separation "I hate you" "We are over" (too many times to count) Reconciled Sept 2009 (still worth it)
