I also think she is playing you big time. At the beginning of my situation, my W played me so bad. I'm embarassed by how I fell for it, but I take pride in knowing that I did because I loved and trusted her, and she used that for her own disgusting purposes. She'll need to live with that, but I don't.
I think you shouldn't ask her that question. Just GAL and don't give her the satisfaction. I've found one of the best tools is silence. She knows what she's done is reprehensible, but she wants to avoid that reality. Silence can be very biting. Go out and GAL with the attitude of "Who needs a cheating W? I've got better things to do."
Let her stew in her guilt, and don't let her see you bothered one bit by what's she's done. Let her think you've washed your hands of her. Now is definitely not the time to "put yourself out there". She has a lot of atoning to do first. It's all on her right now. Live your life honorably in the mean time.
