I have avoided saying "your're hurt/scared etc.". I think with his family they were and still are very dysfunctional. He hasn't seen or had contact with his family for many many years, the last time was when his father died and he went to the funeral that was over 5 years ago. They weren't a close family at all although he was close with his sister.
I imagine I now go "quiet" and not initiate any contact now until he does.
The problem is the strategy that I was to implement last night when he came home was to change my demeanour and attitude toward H when he arrived home. I didn't get that chance as he wasn't coming home.
Will do Dia. I have to back off the GALing a bit too, it's like doing a full circle again total opposite of what I have had in my head to do and got used to doing.
As the coach said yesterday at least he is sharing feelings with you and not being totally silent.
Have just found out he is going off again for another weekend jet skiing. The very weekend we are supposed to be at a friend's birthday party (next weekend).
Now my dilemma do I now say we won't be able to attend or do I put on a brave face and go alone. D will be away Fri & Sat nights, so if I don't go I will be home along with the furry ones.
Do YOU want to go to the party? If so, go. The double standard is bull...and do you want to live this way the rest of your life? He left the house, so what are you supposed to do, sit at home and mope?
I'm all for strategy, but not when it means compromising what you want for your life. If he were wanting to spend time with you, if he were even still living in the house, I'd think differently. But he will be gone behaving like a teenager again.
I say go.
SD
Me: 40 H: 43 H had EA from 2/06-9/06 Bomb 5/06 Piecing since 9/2006 3/2008: Boundary setting 7/2009: Boundary crossing~dropped my own bomb. 8/2010: Marriage finally on track!
I do want to go to the party SD. It should be fun as everyone has to wear something red.
I really love the lady whose birthday it is and I know she would be disappointed if I didn't go. Both her and her H have openly told me many times that I am welcome to drop in on them whenever I feel I need to, they are a beautiful couple, who have had their fare share of problems too so probably understand me better than those that are in their in tact M's.
Yes you are right, he will be off acting like a teenager again.
