I'm new wondering if this works...

[RedSoxFan]

Here's my email:


When you come home, please be more calm.

I totally want to hear your advice/concerns re: the house, discipline with S, etc. It's very important to me that we discuss all these things and your imput is valuable and helpful. But we need to have productive conversations and listen respectfully to each other.

When you are expressing yourself with anxiety, irritation, or whatever, I feel more upset and have a harder time hearing you. I ultimately want it to be postive - it doesn't get resolved well when it's communicated with stress and in passing. It's also not cool for S.

I will ask you again for what I have repeatedly ask = please sit down with me (or call or email), when S is asleep or not here, and when we are calm to discuss. I can hear you better then.

When you come over here, the mood needs to be light and relaxed around S- for him and me. Thank you.

What do you think, people? Trying to draw a boundary while being detached.

I'm not in a position to offer advice on this so it should come from others. I think you're definitely on the right track. Only thing I notice is that you seem to be timidly pleading for what should be boldly demanded or at least clearly and authoritatively stated, as a required boundary.