Getting Un"Stuck" - Giving My Burden to God

[RedSoxFan]

Stuck, been thinking about you my friend. You've given me some good advice. Let us know how it went.

[tristan]

Hang in there. I'll pray for you.

[sandi2]

Anxious to hear from you. Hope all is well as can be expected.

[MrBond]

Quick update:

Well we talked for a couple hours last night. Nothing really about the D, but I centered the talk around what she wants.

She pretty much said she wants to live independently because she doesn't have any feelings for me.

I then centered around her A from last year and why she couldn't get herself to admit to it. She waffled and didn't really say anything. I actually did most of the talking. It seemed like when I would get too close to her personal thoughts, she would shut down and be quiet.

I really wished she would have opened up more. She really is running away from herself and her problems.

So nothing was really decided. Any ideas?

[aliveandkicking]

I then centered around her A from last year and why she couldn't get herself to admit to it.

This would not get her to open up.

[sandi2]

Stuck, I don't think your W has ever let go of her fantasy of "what might have been" from the A. Even if that A didn't last.....she may have the dream of meeting some other man and "what might happen if she were single". That has kept her from investing any effort into a R with you since she moved back. It has kept her captured as surely as if she had been in prison. The frustrating part is to know that only "she" can escape from the walls she built around herself. You tried to tear those walls down but she apparently won't allow it.

I believe that you need to decide if you want to continue in this "stuck" R where she thinks she has no feelings for you.....or risk a S in order for her to discover what she wants. I would think the bottom line is to face whether or not you are afraid of losing her forever. What are you willing to gamble?

If there were no children, what would you do? BTW, you can look at your girls and tell them that you tried as hard as you could. It is a gamble (if you still hope for a future with her) and you would certainly be out of your comfort zone. In all reality, you have lost her already if she thinks she doesn't love you anymore. You just felt more "comfortable" knowing she was living at home with you. I'm not telling you which way to go with this, Stuck, I'm just talking.

You have been thinking of dating and how that might influence her, so how would being S affect her....knowing you were free to live like a single man (or would she expect you to act as if you were M?) Are you prepared to see her live like a single woman?

[confusedinpa]

Stuck,

I know I'm in no position to offer any thoughts in the midst of my disastor, but I am going to remind you of what you had offered me in April this year. Tell her that you love her enough to not stand in her way of doing what she wants. It's similar to what Sandi is saying, but, if you recall, I wrote her a short message in card that told her as such.

That I will not stand in her way as I truly loved her but know that I will be able to take care of the boys. I was going away to CT that weekend and asked her to take that time to think about what she wants.

Just wanted to throw it out there

Take care Stuck - hang in there as the world needs more people like you who stands for what is right

[confusedinpa]

You ok brother?

[sandi2]

(((Stuck)))

[confusedinpa]

You still there bro?

Hang in there! If you ever want to talk, you can find my contact info on FB....

Be the strong, enlightened man I know you are!