It's my night to be home with S. H told me this morning he "may be home for dinner". I let it go.
An hour before dinner, I called to see if he was coming only because I needed something from the store. I kept it brief, light, and got off the phone first. He agreed. He showed up. Within 5 minutes he was yelling at me again. H angry he left a beer in his fridge "that might blow up so he can't stay that long". I was fine, kept going about my business.
Yelled at me for not being more careful with the sliding glass door - yells that he has not said anything for the two years we've had the new windows that they need to be cleaned more frequently - or else they are going to "break - and you'll have to pay for them."
Then yells about having to come home early tomorrow to be with our S so I can go to my support group - a support group for my issues with sexuality, that HE wants me to go to in order to own up to my own problems. I told him it would start early weeks ago - and asked him then if it would be a problem and he said it would be fine.
Now the day before it starts, he's complaining, raising his voice and saying "think about that and get back to me."
Why? That makes no sense.
So I told him he had a chance to work out the schedule with me weeks ago.
I'm tired of H coming home only to yell at me the whole time. Here's my email:
When you come home, please be more calm.
I totally want to hear your advice/concerns re: the house, discipline with S, etc. It's very important to me that we discuss all these things and your imput is valuable and helpful. But we need to have productive conversations and listen respectfully to each other.
When you are expressing yourself with anxiety, irritation, or whatever, I feel more upset and have a harder time hearing you. I ultimately want it to be postive - it doesn't get resolved well when it's communicated with stress and in passing. It's also not cool for S.
I will ask you again for what I have repeatedly ask = please sit down with me (or call or email), when S is asleep or not here, and when we are calm to discuss. I can hear you better then.
When you come over here, the mood needs to be light and relaxed around S- for him and me. Thank you.
What do you think, people? Trying to draw a boundary while being detached.
